Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.
“I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?”
omfg this is great
New favorite comeback.
I love talking to people! <3
I wonder if the young girls playing on the trampoline next door know that
- I can see them
- I can hear them singing You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray
- they are really bad singers and
- I can probably get a YouTube-worthy video of them from my current position
gUYS I PUT ON MY COUSINS HOCKEY MASK AND STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND YELLED “STOP YOUR INFERNAL SINGSONG I’M TRYING TO MURDER HERE” AND THEY SCREAMED AND TRIED TO RUN AWAY AND ONE FELL OVER AND STARTED CRYING
(Source: spookyrnormonhelldream, via pizza)
why are girls so cute like god damn curves and boobs and those legs and their hair and their skin and their voices and just like hot damn girls in thigh highs and maid outfits and oversized sweaters and messy hair and piercings and dresses
I read this, and then I look in the mirror and think ; I am obviously not one of those
do you identify as a girl
THEN YES YOU ARE A PART OF THE CUTE PARADE
what if you scrolled past one of those posts that said “like if you love god, scroll down if you love satan” and then a day later you get a call and you pick up the phone and a gruff voice on the other end goes “i heard that you loved me and i just want to say that no one has ever loved me before” and then you guys go on a date and eventually get married and you become queen of hell.
time to go to bed
(Source: librarytree-moved, via ifuckinglovecarlsagan)